Five years ago, I became my parents' parent. My 90-year-old father lost his ability to manage the finances, and my almost 80-year-old mother became unable to take care of everyday chores. My father declared he was done with this life and he wanted to go to the other side of the curtain. He passed a few short months later, after a three-week hospital stay.
My father's passing precipitated my mother's mental decline. The symptoms were numerous: loss of memory, loss of time and space awareness, irritability, paranoia, … alas it took me long to realize I was dealing with dementia.
She was given medication for the psychological issues, I was told she was never coming off the meds and her continued decline was inevitable, with a life expectancy of somewhere between 3 and 9 years.
We decided to move my mother into our home to take care of her. The severe side effects of the medication were painful to watch. Sleepiness, drooling, most of the day, a feeble body without a mind, bless her she would stand staring at the walls with a glazed expression, not even know where she was.
I decided to gradually, over months, wean her off her meds despite the doctor's predictions. She began improving; the psychological issues did not come back, thank God! The drooling had stopped, and the sleepiness had diminished. Yet she was still speaking with difficulty, unable to complete a thought or a sentence.